The True Love...

Warning: This post is for non-married people only. Married people, you already made your choice.... good luck!

As far as the human goes, or at least men,......or at least me. The demand for love isn't just one market, it is many. We have different desires that are all associated with the opposite gender, but unfortunately they don't always agree. One day we can feel closer to woman (or man) A and tomorrow we can be more interested in woman (or man) B. So let us answer the age old questions about selection. Which one should be the one? What kind of feelings are the most noble to act upon? Can this author really establish some ethos to pull off this post?

We will answer all those questions and more. We will generalize the three desires for companionship, and establish the awesomeness of a person to be the long-run sum of those attributes.

The first is physical. No explanation.

The second is on a personality basis. How much you enjoy their company, how well you can communicate, etc...

The third is the desire for consistency and maintaining a comfort level. Meaning an incumbent (or existing) prospect has an advantage over a newly-emerging one, because the familiarity and consistency is something we all seek. 

So the question is, how do we find the best long-run fit? Well, it's simple. In order for you to have an internal battle over two people, it must be that the sum of the three attributes is relatively close in the short run. In fact, in the short run there may be few differences in choosing one person over another. However, in the long run, there could be adverse differences.

Let us define the short run benefits simply as the sum of physical (A), emotional (B), and familiar face(C) attributes. So overall attraction (short run)  = A + B + C, where A, B, and C represent the current values.  However, over time the benefits will change in each area. So in ten years the overall attraction could = aA + bB, where a and b are scalars determined by functions of time relative to changes in importance of certain attractions. You may have noticed that we have eliminated factor C (familiar face) from the equation in the long run. The reason is that all candidates you could choose in the short run will return similar familiar face benefits in the long run, assuming you spend comparable amounts of time with them. So you still will receive benefits from that attribute, but in comparison it's more or less irrelevant. The 'a' will probably be <1, meaning that physical attractiveness has marginally diminishing returns over time, whereas 'b' is likely >1, meaning that personality matches have increasing returns over time.

So who should you pick? Well, it depends on how long you want it to last. Being religious, I have a hope for a marriage that lasts an eternity, going past the bounds of this life. Using limits, it is clear that personality matches and emotional connections are infinitely important in the long, long run, and physical attractiveness is literally irrelevant. Also, the desire to find consistency is irrelevant, because that is something that will grow with the fact that you are with the person forever.

So, the fairy tale cliches' seem to hold true for another day. Long-term love is about companionship, getting along, enjoying each other's company, etc... However, these relationships are certainly blessed by other aspects, such as having someone to consistently be with and physical interaction. So all the things are important once you are with someone, but in terms of choosing finding a personality match is essential.

Answer: Diseases

Q: If you could cure all diseases would you?

A: I am actually very excited for this post. It was maybe the most thought-provoking question that I received. In short, my answer is probably not. I realized that many people may find that cruel and disagree with it, but I will spend the rest of the time explaining why.

Firstly, I will gladly concede that there are many diseases that I would love to be able to cure for many wonderful people. How nice would it be to have the power to cure young children stricken with cancer? Or heal a terminally ill woman who is the central piece to a large family? Of course, there are endless ways we could bless the lives of others by curing certain diseases. So the question really is do the costs of diseases always out way the benefits? If so, then we certainly would cure them all, because the profits from doing so would be the differences between the benefits and the costs. However, if there is even one case where the benefits out way the costs, then we will maximize profits not by curing all diseases, but an optimum amount.

So, the question is, can we think of any diseases that might be worth keeping around? To be short, it's an empirical (meaning it must be measured) question and we can't actually answer it. We would actually need some way to quantify benefits and costs of certain diseases. However, we can generalize and think of some instances in which disease may be preferred to the cure. I know many people now would jump to the idea that the costs of increased sex might out way the benefits of curing STD's, but that is a bit hairy, so I will look for something simpler. Let's discuss the benefits of getting ill from exposure. In cold climates the cost of going into the cold unprepared rises with the chance of getting sick. However, if we could instantly cure such things, there really would be no consequence for reckless behavior. You could go into the cold, get sick, and be healed so quickly that you basically avoid the discomforts of being sick. However, the colds may act as a warning sign to greater danger, for instance, freezing to death. If we don't have the benefit of receiving small consequences, then we will be more likely to push the limits until more serious damage is done.

That may seem like a lousy argument, but I would believe that if all diseases could be cured, that we might find that we would want to keep some around in a quantity higher than zero.

Answers: Punxsutawney

This is from Harris: "Does Punxsutawney Phil understand the significances of seeing, or not seeing his shadow?"

<<<< Absolutely not >>>>

Does Pluto understand the Mayan calander?
Can a frog succeed in program design?
Does Obama understand fiscal policy?

Let's ask real questions people!
 

Answers: Zebra Stripes

So I will have a series of posts addressing the questions of the week.
The first question is:

"My questions is... is a zebra white with black stripes or black with white stripes??"


The zebra stripe phenomenon has always intrigued me, because I always have wondered how on earth such a conspicuous animal can continue to thrive. However, there has to be good reason for success. Nature isn't biased and it won't let a creature continue living just for aesthetic value. It actually turns out that the stripe pattern can deflect about 70% of the sun's rays helping the zebra fight the overpowering African heat (source: The International Museum of the Horse).
I have also been told that every single zebra has a unique stripe pattern and they can even tell one another apart because of this. The females with more curvature in their stripes have an advantage because it makes them more appealing to the males (this is completely a guess). There is also a theory that the stripes help the zebras confuse predators because they blend together when the zebras are in herds.
But onto the question. Are they white with black stripes or the other way around? Well, it used to be up in the air, but recently most experts are saying that zebras have both black skin and fur, and the white is added in due to a number of different factors, mostly a pigmentation deficiency. So zebras seem to be black with white stripes.
To be honest, my life is the same either way. But I must say the research was a lot of fun.

Ask Wilson

Is something puzzling you?
Need a genie?
Well now is your chance.
In the comment area of this blog ask questions and I will answer them. Ask whatever you want, my fabricated knowledge knows no bounds.

Information

So I've discovered that I process information a lot better than I take in colors. I have always felt that I would be more observant if I was looking at scholarly articles rather than strange shapes and colors. So I have set out on a quest to replace all the colors in my life with information. And that way I can learn in my day to day activities.
Everything was going quite well until I started looking at information kaleidoscopes. I'll tell you what there is no faster way to get a headache or ruin a good study sesh than to watch bunches of information colliding with each other in the most geometrically beautiful ways.

Sally's awesome

Being defensive is one of the deadly sins in the social world. It can be really crippling at times. Let's investigate further with case studies on Sarah and Sally. 

Sarah has very few friends, mostly because she blocks people out. She seems to have a strange evaluation of people before she will accept them as a friend. People often feel she is judging their first moves when they just want her to accept them and drink it in. She is somewhat restricted in conversation with strangers because she doesn't want to display her own qualities to someone she doesn't know. This is mostly because how she will act isn't dictated by her own desires and personality, but by the people that are around her. We will call Sarah a chameleon, because she does her best to blend in with the surroundings. Because she thinks she needs to adjust to fit the situation, she rarely makes the effort to adjust situations to meet people's needs. She is more concerned with the people adjusting to fit the idealistic picture. She feels misunderstood, because she probably is.

Sally, on the other hand, loves to interact with others. She is herself, even in the presence of strangers, because she feels no obligation to adjust to the expectations of others. However, she isn't rude about it, she is herself in a very non-confrontational way. Much of her motivation comes from an internal source of moral values, desires, and dreams. When people interact with Sally it's clear that systems are built for people, and not the other way around. They feel she will try to understand them. They feel she will honestly express herself. Sally is awesome. 

So how can you know if you're defensive?

Answer the following question:

Why do you brush your teeth? 

Now don't read the following until you have your answer.

There really are two responses. The first will focus on physical health and or conformity to a system: "I don't want cavities, I want white teeth, my mom told me to, etc..."

The other responses will reflect an emotional reason often connected with self improvement: "I like the way my teeth feel when I brush them, I feel prettier (more handsome), I really enjoy it, etc..."

While both sets of statements are probably realized and rational, I find that the latter set brings a more vibrant mood to life. Doing things in an outgoing, upbeat manner, with individual expression give greater meaning to the mundane chores of life. In reality being passive and defensive is not about action, but motivation and attitude. Going to school to get a degree is good, but going to school because you feel a certain excitement while learning is great. 

This is not an attack on people that are socially less capable, only a call for better, more honest self expression. This doesn't mean that we simply do whatever we want, but it means that we are a bit more transparent about are real feelings and desires. So open up and let if flow. Be awesome. 

Why so serious?

Why so serious?The Joker is the most rediculous man on earth, but he does pose a very valid question when he asks, "Why so serious?"
It's something that I need to ask myself occasionally, because I, like many others, get too serious about what isn't important and it makes my approach to what really matters a little more casual.
I have often neglected the people in my life as when I get too focused on what really doesn't satisfy. When I am really struggling in life it is because I put too much weight on success as a form of fulfillment and I let the relationships in my life fall behind. Often, I need to try less to succeed in school and work before I find real fulfillment. It's what I call the try smarter, not harder approach.
The ultimate goal in life is to be content, happy, helpful, and fulfilled. This usually comes from our interaction with other people. Other pursuits are wonderful as complements to this ultimate goal, however they become a terrrible burden when we attempt to use them as substitutes for what is really satisfying.
So why am I talking about this?
Not sure.
Have a good one

Love

The title says it all. This post is going to answer those tough questions and sweep out those dirty corners in the depths of your soul. By the end we should no longer be puzzled by thoughts, such as:
       Is love real?
       Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?
       Is Brad Pitt love embodied?
       Why do I feel the same about my spouse as I do my favorite donut?

I know that these are very real, powerful, and painful feelings that we all experience in life, but I am confident that what I have to say will give relief to all of your pains, or at the very least add to them.
The main subject on the agenda really is the difference between being in love with someone and loving somebody. Is there a difference? How can I know? What should I do?

Well, the first question is easy. Is there a difference? Yes. Being in love is obviously a state of being. It is a natural disposition to appreciate, care for, and show affection towards another being. It is to unconditionally hope the best for them in all that they do. It is not created by acts or commitments and is not defined by flowers or kisses. If fact it is not an action at all, but rather the most pure of motivations for loving. However, loving somebody is the actual doing of these things. Loving somebody is to care for them and show affection in emotional, spiritual, physical, and all other aspects of life. Note that being in love is not a prerequisite to doing any of these things, but it is highly recommended.

Recap:
Being in love = Motivation
Loving = Action, maybe fulfilling other motives than that of being in love

On a happier note, my rants are at an end. This topic will be continued in other posts as I answer the questions: How can I know? and What should I do?

Persistance

So Chad and I were streaming a video about the differences in parenting in France and America, and one of the points that stuck out to me was that French parents tend to be more persistent with their children than American parents. I don't actually care if that is true or not, but I did start to think about the differences between persistence and stubbornness and why they have such different connotations in our society.
At first I almost thought that the difference was merely in the level of the symptoms. Meaning that persistence denotes pursuing a goal to a reasonable extent; whereas, stubbornness is when one displays irrational abandon in pursuing the said goal. After some discussion we decided that this might not be true, that the magnitude of the behavior didn't determine the condition.
Then, without warning, it hit me. I realized that maybe persistence is defined by repeated, noble efforts to elevate oneself and others to a higher condition, but stubbornness is repeated, defensive actions that try to avoid change. In general, persistence is a means for positive change and stubbornness is a defense against it. In fact, persistence and stubbornness are not the same, but exactly opposite in purpose although similar is action.
A good example would be the civil rights movement led by Martin Luther King Jr. and other activists. Many of the blacks showed godly persistence in fighting for what was right, while many others showed terrible stubbornness in resisting the desired changes.
Although, I have just realized that my definitions are not altogether accurate, because persistence doesn't always call for change and stubbornness doesn't always avoid it. I suppose the real difference is in motive. Persistence fights for what is right while stubbornness fights for what is wrong.

Persistent                                                 Stubborn
God                                                          Satan
Rockies                                                    Yankees
Licorice                                                    Spring Greens
.....                                                           .....


You get the point...