Ash: What are some of the goals you have for us as a couple?
Me: Um... I don't know. Just like be people.
(Pause)
Me: Would it surprise you if I was an alien?
Ash: No (She was completely serious at this point). Well, it's just you said we should sit down and discuss our goals together.
Me: Oh! When did I say that?
Ash: a Couple weeks ago.
(Another pause)
Me: Hmm, that does sound like a good idea.
I don't know why this was so funny to me. Ashley seriously wouldn't be surprised if I was an alien, but it's okay, she said she will would still love me. I found myself to be thoughtful when I found out that I was the one that thought we should sit down and discuss goals.
Cheers,
KYle Lunlltj
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Opposition
All of the time people on the street pull me aside and ask, " Kyle, why do you have two axioms that completely oppose one another?" Of course they are referencing the fact that one axiom more or less states that life is easy while another states that it is hard.
Well, I believe the problems of life tend to be problems of optimization and neither maximization or minimization. Maximization problems are usually easier to solve, but there is something tricky about optimization problems. It's easy to find something that can float in the ocean, and probably just as easy to find something that will sink. However, it may be more difficult to find something that would neither sink to the bottom nor rise to the top. In such a case the buoyancy and gravity would have to harmonize in equal measure to allow the object to stay from moving towards the surface or the ocean floor.
Well, long story short, I don't believe life should be unreasonably hard or easy. It should be hard enough to encourage progress, yet easy enough that we can succeed. The two axioms work in opposition simply to keep us where we are primed for success and happiness. A place where neither contentment nor discouragement rule. The axioms are not in place to appease logic, for it appears to be a fallacy that life is both easy and hard. Rather, they exist as opposing emotional and psychological forces that can keep us in the optimal mindset.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
The Ironies of Life
Life is, without question, the strangest thing ever.
I believe that most the things we want most can't be forced, but are rather gifts. For example, there is no sure fire way to find happiness. However, it seems that those that forgo happiness are the ones that have the richest joy. The willingness to sacrifice what is seemingly personal happiness for a greater cause seems to bring blessings that the selfish never know.
Also, it can be noted that the road to freedom is laced with discipline. The undisciplined will surely be trapped, while self mastery can enable its owner to obtain the greatest treasures.
Those that work the hardest will soon find that they don't have to, while those that slack off will quickly have no comfort.
The greatest loves are based in purity.
Turning to a subject of great importance we learn more of life's little ironies. George Knudson said of golf, " You have to give up control to gain control."
In life there are many forks in the road. We often must choose between that which we want and that which is right. The irony is that those that choose that which is right are certain to be led to that which they want.
I believe that most the things we want most can't be forced, but are rather gifts. For example, there is no sure fire way to find happiness. However, it seems that those that forgo happiness are the ones that have the richest joy. The willingness to sacrifice what is seemingly personal happiness for a greater cause seems to bring blessings that the selfish never know.
Also, it can be noted that the road to freedom is laced with discipline. The undisciplined will surely be trapped, while self mastery can enable its owner to obtain the greatest treasures.
Those that work the hardest will soon find that they don't have to, while those that slack off will quickly have no comfort.
The greatest loves are based in purity.
Turning to a subject of great importance we learn more of life's little ironies. George Knudson said of golf, " You have to give up control to gain control."
In life there are many forks in the road. We often must choose between that which we want and that which is right. The irony is that those that choose that which is right are certain to be led to that which they want.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Perception Isn't Reality, But It's a Part of It
So in golf there is this great saying that goes, "feel isn't real." Basically it means exactly what you would think it would mean. What you think you are doing is often very different than what you are actually doing. Which makes sense, because most people would play quite well if they could do precisely what they were trying to.
The problem is that people now rely too much on what is actually happening rather than trusting their instincts. They spend too much time looking at film, and too little actually playing the game in which they want to become proficient. It all becomes very mechanical very quickly. I think we need some old fashioned practice time and less time analyzing what is actually happening. So I have come up with my own phrase. "Feel isn't real, but it's much more important."
Those things which we think are true, but aren't, are still strangely a part of reality. They just happen to exist in our heads. So everything we think and believe is if fact a part of reality; it just happens to be a very small part of reality that is exclusive only to ourselves. We all live in the same physical world, a shared reality, but we also all have our own separate worlds inside that are just as real. If you don't think they are real then just look inside someone's scull. I think you will find a brain there. If you look inside the brain there will be thoughts. Those thoughts actually exist, they are there! The only way a thought cannot exist is if it was never thunk.
Thus, the title, "Perception Isn't Reality, But It's a Part of It." Kind of like a rectangle and square thing.
The problem is that people now rely too much on what is actually happening rather than trusting their instincts. They spend too much time looking at film, and too little actually playing the game in which they want to become proficient. It all becomes very mechanical very quickly. I think we need some old fashioned practice time and less time analyzing what is actually happening. So I have come up with my own phrase. "Feel isn't real, but it's much more important."
Those things which we think are true, but aren't, are still strangely a part of reality. They just happen to exist in our heads. So everything we think and believe is if fact a part of reality; it just happens to be a very small part of reality that is exclusive only to ourselves. We all live in the same physical world, a shared reality, but we also all have our own separate worlds inside that are just as real. If you don't think they are real then just look inside someone's scull. I think you will find a brain there. If you look inside the brain there will be thoughts. Those thoughts actually exist, they are there! The only way a thought cannot exist is if it was never thunk.
Thus, the title, "Perception Isn't Reality, But It's a Part of It." Kind of like a rectangle and square thing.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
What Comes After But....
But is a small word endowed with great power. Many have given it a poor name, mostly because buts are often sandwiched between admissions of truth and excuses. For example, "I know the jell-o was for everyone, but the devil made me eat it all." I will agree that the famous truth-but-excuse sentence structure is out of style, but I want to talk about the truth-but-truth sentence structure. That one is worth a second look. You can learn a great deal about a person and their outlook by what they choose to say after but.
For example, a larger person who often jumps rope could say, "I jump rope often, but I'm fat."
However he or she could also say, "I'm fat, but I jump rope often."
There is something to be admired in the second option. It's an admission of being fat, but seems to focus on jumping rope. There is a sense of optimism and confidence in it. Because the jumping rope is mentioned second it seems to hint at the possibility of changing the first admission. By jumping rope one can loose weight and no longer be fat. However, the first sentence concedes the truth that he jumps rope, but seems to disparagingly admit that he is fat despite the exercise.
Let's do the same exercise with the first example. Instead of saying "I know the jell-o was for everyone, but the devil made me eat it all," one could say, "the devil made me eat it all, but I know the jell-o was for everyone." The second option again seems much more appropriate. There seems to be an understanding of the poor behavior, rather than an attempt to justify the behavior.
I'm single, but I love.
I can't write, but I do.
I don't win, but I will.
I am poor, but I work.
I am weak, but I run.
Life is hard, but it's fun.
However he or she could also say, "I'm fat, but I jump rope often."
There is something to be admired in the second option. It's an admission of being fat, but seems to focus on jumping rope. There is a sense of optimism and confidence in it. Because the jumping rope is mentioned second it seems to hint at the possibility of changing the first admission. By jumping rope one can loose weight and no longer be fat. However, the first sentence concedes the truth that he jumps rope, but seems to disparagingly admit that he is fat despite the exercise.
Let's do the same exercise with the first example. Instead of saying "I know the jell-o was for everyone, but the devil made me eat it all," one could say, "the devil made me eat it all, but I know the jell-o was for everyone." The second option again seems much more appropriate. There seems to be an understanding of the poor behavior, rather than an attempt to justify the behavior.
I'm single, but I love.
I can't write, but I do.
I don't win, but I will.
I am poor, but I work.
I am weak, but I run.
Life is hard, but it's fun.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Axioms of Life
This post will evolve as I do, but here is the first draft:
The axioms to a good life are as follows:
1. Life is only hard if you try
Most people think this means I am telling them to be lazy; I am not. However, I do believe that life is more about the story and the journey than the accomplishments. I feel we spend too much time pursuing titles and recognition and too little time investing in what matters most. We are here to learn to be happy. Finding joy is the ultimate accomplishment.
2. Over-generalizing will make you unhappy
This one is pretty simple. While general rules are great in mathematics and science, they have no place in the social structure. Generalizing is a close relative of assumption and comes from a belief that we know more than we actually do. By generalizing we limit learning possibilities and our ability to savor the uniqueness and beauty of each person, situation, or moment.
3. Life is hard
This is the close relative to axiom number one that basically states the opposite. It turns out that life is hard. When things don't go my way, I often say, "life's hard." It's a good release and it's true. However, I do believe focusing on the wrong things makes life even harder than it is supposed to be, and that is why I have axiom number one.
4. There really aren't any axioms
Regardless of the size of the axiom list, this one is always at the bottom. It's a corollary of axiom number two, but at the same time discredits axiom number two, meaning that it also discredits itself? In a measure to not over-generalize I have included this axiom to remind me that I am often wrong, and I should be quick to question the axioms, despite their flawless appearance.
The axioms to a good life are as follows:
1. Life is only hard if you try
Most people think this means I am telling them to be lazy; I am not. However, I do believe that life is more about the story and the journey than the accomplishments. I feel we spend too much time pursuing titles and recognition and too little time investing in what matters most. We are here to learn to be happy. Finding joy is the ultimate accomplishment.
2. Over-generalizing will make you unhappy
This one is pretty simple. While general rules are great in mathematics and science, they have no place in the social structure. Generalizing is a close relative of assumption and comes from a belief that we know more than we actually do. By generalizing we limit learning possibilities and our ability to savor the uniqueness and beauty of each person, situation, or moment.
3. Life is hard
This is the close relative to axiom number one that basically states the opposite. It turns out that life is hard. When things don't go my way, I often say, "life's hard." It's a good release and it's true. However, I do believe focusing on the wrong things makes life even harder than it is supposed to be, and that is why I have axiom number one.
4. There really aren't any axioms
Regardless of the size of the axiom list, this one is always at the bottom. It's a corollary of axiom number two, but at the same time discredits axiom number two, meaning that it also discredits itself? In a measure to not over-generalize I have included this axiom to remind me that I am often wrong, and I should be quick to question the axioms, despite their flawless appearance.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Optimism, Henry Ford and Wilson
Remember the wonder ball? A sphere of milk chocolate that contains something unknown, but wonderful?
Life is a wonder ball, so don't ruin it. Don't you dare ruin it.
The best way to ruin a wonder ball is with your own expectations.
The truth is, none of us know the future. As much as we try, we can't guarantee that sickness, pain, and trials won't come upon us. We can't promise that we will be the best, most successful, or healthiest of people. We can't even guarantee how much time we will have. But we can, if we work hard at it, be ready to welcome whatever comes.
I don't know the future, but if he is like most guests I know, he will have no problem eating my food, watching my t.v., and leaving my house a mess. The only good news is that he really has no choice but to show up on time. The other good news is that I don't have a house, food, or a t.v. But I think I will do my best to greet the future anyway. He may not like my style or lack of desserts, but I think he will find me happy, friendly, and alert. You see, as little as you know about the future, he may know even less about you. He has so much to think about and so much to do, because tomorrow is coming and he must come too.
So, just love the future, be his best friend, see him as a wonderful item, a truly priceless gem. When he first comes to your door, he may seem unpolished. Just love him gently, and your fears will be demolished. You see the future is nervous, he doesn't know you. He wants to be happy, and he hopes you do to. So give him a break, he's been working all day. If his appearance is scruffy, don't send him away. Just care for and love him and give him a bath. Feed him your garden, and slaughter the calf. The future is coming and there's nothing to do, that can change that fact for either me or for you. Optimism isn't stupid, it's not always sublime, it's only an ability to see past the grime.
Just a shout out for optimism.
-"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't-- you're right." - Henry Ford
-"Optimism is produced by the candy store of the subconscious- it's delicious, but dangerous." - Wilson
Life is a wonder ball, so don't ruin it. Don't you dare ruin it.
The best way to ruin a wonder ball is with your own expectations.
The truth is, none of us know the future. As much as we try, we can't guarantee that sickness, pain, and trials won't come upon us. We can't promise that we will be the best, most successful, or healthiest of people. We can't even guarantee how much time we will have. But we can, if we work hard at it, be ready to welcome whatever comes.
I don't know the future, but if he is like most guests I know, he will have no problem eating my food, watching my t.v., and leaving my house a mess. The only good news is that he really has no choice but to show up on time. The other good news is that I don't have a house, food, or a t.v. But I think I will do my best to greet the future anyway. He may not like my style or lack of desserts, but I think he will find me happy, friendly, and alert. You see, as little as you know about the future, he may know even less about you. He has so much to think about and so much to do, because tomorrow is coming and he must come too.
So, just love the future, be his best friend, see him as a wonderful item, a truly priceless gem. When he first comes to your door, he may seem unpolished. Just love him gently, and your fears will be demolished. You see the future is nervous, he doesn't know you. He wants to be happy, and he hopes you do to. So give him a break, he's been working all day. If his appearance is scruffy, don't send him away. Just care for and love him and give him a bath. Feed him your garden, and slaughter the calf. The future is coming and there's nothing to do, that can change that fact for either me or for you. Optimism isn't stupid, it's not always sublime, it's only an ability to see past the grime.
Just a shout out for optimism.
-"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't-- you're right." - Henry Ford
-"Optimism is produced by the candy store of the subconscious- it's delicious, but dangerous." - Wilson
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